"As I rest my head with all the memories and terror that comes with it. I look back in the week that passed. Words and context taken out of order, misunderstanding that caused a frown in our eyebrows…were the only thing we could call even trouble. Perfect in every way, even the way we sway, a dance so personal it was far better than any one night stays.
As fear creeps besides me; the only thing I hold on to are the actions…the dance we did on our “See-you-soon” day.”
I don’t ever really remember crying from happiness before, thought it was like a license given to you only if you’ve been through enough things and events. Although I don’t claim to have been through too much, I know I’ve been through enough to know when I’m happy. Last night I read a message from the one person I realized I was looking for my whole life. And I’m posting it here so I’ll always have it close by
"Before I knew it, you’d taken over my life. When I’d "fallen in love" before it was nothing like this.. I was in full control of any changes that happened. I engineered and controlled the entire relationship. Something that was what i "wanted" but left me feeling empty. I was never an equal with my partner. You say things that throw my entire world into motion in the right way before I even know it. I had a moviedate with you yesterday and I couldn’t find a way to watch the movies on the tablet or the tv so I went out and got headphones in the next 5 minutes to make damn sure that we had the date. b/c I wanted it so much that it felt quite literally like breathing. and your music taste is refreshing, beautiful. I enjoy listening to it on an equal level to music I enjoy b/c for a few moments I can sit where you sit and enjoy things as you do. really understand you..
I hope(crosses out the word hope)can’t wait until I can hold your hand and stare into my parents’ eyes and say with complete confidence that you’re the one. That no matter what happens you balance me out and that I want to always be the one who does that and even more for you. And to just be happy with you.. and someday do everything under the sun with you as my new bucketlist.”
I’m so lucky.